You know you need a vacation when....

...you open your deodorant and think it is YOUR CHAPSTICK!!!!!!!!!

Thankfully I realized what I was about to do!!!!!!!

I overheard this conversation....

I was in the floor yesterday after I had served everyone dinner. Mads wanted to be fed first before I could enjoy my Chicken Parmesan. It always works that way. I was extremely tired so I cuddled up with her on a blanket, drifting in and out of consciousness. Only to hear this at one point. Since I wasn't able to write it down word for word while it was being said I am going to paraphrase it the best I can.

H- I think Batman is HOT!

Superdad- Christian Bale?

H- No, the cartoon Batman. Don't you think he's hot?

Superdad- Well, no. It's a cartoon.

H- The boys at school think Cinderella is hot. We were talking about it the other day. Don't you think like Ariel is hot?

Superdad- No, it's a cartoon.

So the question I have to ask, "When my 10 year old son starts to spend too much time in the shower, do I have to hide the Disney Princess movies? Can we all say "EWEEEEEEEEEEE" together?

What do you mean I won't live forever?

Here lately I have been thinking about death. It consumes me when I am depressed. I am not talking death as in ending my life--just death as dying when I get old. I am talking 130 years old and dying in my sleep after writing a book, acting in a movie, ending world hunger and insert other charitable acts here.

Since I have been dealing with depression for over 10 years, after having my son, I realize that I obsess over death when I am really down. Or even when I am not down. I just want to make sure my kids are taken care of I suppose.

I have been Zoloft free for 10 days now. 10 days and I haven't killed anyone yet. Even though I have had ZERO patience and would like too scream during moments. For example my husband was eating dinner last night and Mads was rolling around the living room and Ollie was being Ollie and I was going to wash my hair. He actually said, "Could you wait a sec, I won't be able to eat and watch them?". Kind of like what I do every day?? Or him not wanting to give Mads a bath because he didn't feel comfy. Ummmmm....she is 5 months and not going to break. SHRUG! I just get frustrated after cleaning the house, folding and putting up all the laundry, that I ask one simple request about bathing the baby and I get feedback. Then he gets frustrated that Ollie wants to ride with him to get H & B2. Whats the big deal? She usually wants to ride with him when he goes to get them. SO instead of fussing because she won't listen to you and STILL wants to go with you JUST let her go with you TO BEGIN WITH! Then there won't be any screaming and yelling at anyone about no one is listening when all she wants to do is see her big sister and brother. She has missed them yanno? Whew, I feel better now that I typed that out.

Other than that I think I am doing rather well. Unless some depressing or extremely happy commercial comes on. Then I cry like a baby that wants ninny. I was even crying watching an episode of Friends the other night. The one where Emma turns one and Joey read one of her books as a gift and the birthday cake ended up being X rated! Yep, I cried because I was laughing so hard.

I do have a point with all this just hang on.

I have a teenage daughter. (Which is pretty impossible since I am only 28, wink wink nudge nudge.) My daughter is 14 going on 34. Something like that. She has all these awful hormones running through her body! A problem we ALL have been dealing with for several years! Being a teenager is rough. I do remember being that age not to long ago. Add on being a girl to make it a bit tougher. Then add on that she started high school this past August. What am I supposed to do with a teenage daughter?? She is a beautiful, caring young woman with the world at her feet. She is active in her church and goes to GA Camp. She is a wonderful student and I know will go far. She doesn't give us much grief EXCEPT with the boys she insists on making us meet. Then there is all that CRAP music she MUST listen too. It's really hard to blame that all on her because most new music is crap to begin with. HA HA!! Sorry honey! My daughter is a fan of my blog and is going to come running when she knows this post is about her. :)

I am getting to the point F I N A L L Y!!! Last week as I was at the high school picking her up like I always do. I am watching all these kids come out and go to their car of choice. Then I had this depressing thought. I can never go back to those high school years. I will never be 14 again. I will never have to take chemistry or do algebra homework again. I will never get asked to the prom. I will never have to worry about my grades.

I was pretty bummed to realize all this. Sure I knew but still. All that is left for me is getting older and then dying. Pretty bleak huh?

Soooo, I share this with her when she gets in the van.

"Yanno H, my life is over. I can never go back to your age. All that is left is for me to grow old and die."

~giggle~

She was like, "Thanks mom for being so cheery."

AM I the only one who feels this way?

DO you obsess over death/dying as well?

Do you think with older age brings you a peace about dying?? I really hope so because now the thought of death scares me. Maybe becoming a parent started it all. I don't know.

Okay must go. I have two sick babies and still a quiche to make.

When Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy

I guess this suits my mood today. I have another headache coming on. At least tomorrow is Friday. Wait!! They'll be HAMMERING on the house though, working on the new porch/roof. Hammering and a headache do not MIX! Like strawberry milk and coffee. They just don't work well together.

Today was early release day for the kids. I have one question pertaining to that. WHY BOTHER?!?!? I think they just want us to get up early, drop them off, turn right around and pick them up. Thanks Buncombe County School system. I see you are on TOP of things, as usual. ~Smirking as I give them the cardboard cookie award.~

Ugh, I am in a sour mood. I had the perfect blog in the making, in my head, then I feel asleep and it went POOF!!! Something about how kids drain every ounce of your energy from you. I got dressed to run a few errands and realized I hadn't shaved my legs. It wouldn't have been a problem if I hadn't been wearing SHORTS! I said to myself "SCREW IT"! No one at Tuesday Morning's and Steinmart would be rubbing them for good luck. So in that frame of mind I didn't put on make-up or really fix my hair. Considering it is super short anyway, no one would be able to tell. It looks like bedhead no matter what I do. I love my short spiky bedhead do. I did however brush my teeth. I bet you are glad I did make time for that. Between chasing a 3 year old around who insisted on wearing a dress with her cowboy boots again and rocking, walking, soothing, carrying a cranky teething baby around I am surprised I just didn't wear my pajamas out the door. Which I have NO problem with doing BTW!!!

After picking up the kids from school since it was an EARLY RELEASE DAY I ran to the car wash to vacuum out my minivan. I love my minivan. My minivan is awesome! LOL Next I'll be taking long walks with it and making it a cake or something.

Then for a special treat I took the kids to TasteeFreeze for milk shakes. YUMMY!!! I love milk shakes. I love anything with ice cream in it. ANYTHING!!!

Okay, I am going to get the kiddos in bed. They are watching Total Drama Island. Why didn't I think to make a reality show CARTOON to get kids addicted?!?!?!?! Next they will make The Apprentice into a cartoon. I can see Donald as a cartoon with his huge mega swirl of hair! Don't go stealing my idea now! The Apprentice Cartoon is all MINE!!! Wonder if I could get The Donald to say YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!

Obsessed/Addicted To:

Which pretty much means the same thing. You say potato, I say potato.....

As you know, I joined Facebook the other day out of curiosity. I am sad to say that I have to add it to my list. The Obsessed/Addicted list. It was bound to happen. I am human after all.

I thought I would share a few of my obsessions and addictions with you. The list is in no certain order. I would hate to embarrass myself trying to put them in order of importance.

1. My website. ~ http://www.theadventuresofsupermom.com
2. FACEBOOK
3. Double Mint Oreos
4. MySpace
5. TWITTER ~ Look me up if you are a tweeter yourself. TheSupermom is my ID.
6. People.com ~ I like smut as much as the next person.
7. Doctor Who ~ The ones with Christopher Eccleston the most!
8. MAD MEN ~ If you haven't watched this yet on AMC, what are you waiting for??? This is an awesome show!!!!!!!
   
9. Army Wives ~ I kind of put this on the back burner since I have been watching Mad Men. They come on at the same time on Sundays, sooooo I try to catch it when it reruns.
10. MY BLACKBERRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~ How did I exist without it???? Seriously, I love my Blackberry. I can surf the web. Check email. AND NOW FACEBOOK!!! Plus, update my blog!
11. Coffee ~ That is self explanatory.
12. Adding pictures to Flickr. ~ Who knew I would get so much enjoyment from that?
13. MADONNA ~ If you know me, I don't have to explain this one.
14. Damien rice ~ DITTO!
15. My husband who I call HB. He now wants to be known as B1. Let me explain. When we met I called him HBG. Hottie Bike Guy. Bike as in bicycle not motorcycle. Then I shortened it to HB. He knows an HB and doesn't like him sooooo he bugs me to change it. What happened to freedom of speech?? Sooooo, from now on he will be B1 and my son will be B2. Like the banana show. Anyone else remember that show? HA HA
16. H, B2, Lil O and Baby M ~ DUHHH!!!!!
17. Pajama Pants ~ The loose pressed cotton kind. Anyone else have this problem?
18. Flip Flops
    
19. CLINIQUE!!!!!!! ~ This is how I keep my youthful glow!!!!!!
20. My perfume. ~ Lauren and Obsession. LOL
    
21. Women that BLOG! We ROCK!
22. Sweet Tea ~ I am from the south and it is such a southern thing.
    
23. My Zoloft. ~ Well, technically you cannot get addicted to Zoloft. Since I am dealing with PPD, it helps me. The things we deal with when we have a baby.

Okay, enough of that. I will add more things. Maybe. I would hate to seem like I need an Addiction support group. ~gentle smile~

Did I actually say that? A topic for Tuesday.

Things that I thought I would never ever say:

• "Your sister isn't a dog. Stop telling her to fetch."
• "Did you stick a pollypocket toy up your nose?"
• "Did you pee in my plant?"
• "Why are you peeing in the shower?"
• "Does he have to wear his pants to his freaking knees?"
• "Could those jeans be any tighter on you? GO CHANGE!"
• "Are you wearing mascara?"
• "Did you write on the couch?"
• UPDATE!! Why did you put your hand in your diaper?
• UPDATE!! Who rubbed a booger on the couch?

Things I never thought would be said to me:

• "Good Job!!! I am going to take you to Fun Depot." (My three year old was happy that I used to potty. ha ha)

This list will be added to during the day and possibly the week. When I remember all the crazy things said in this house and out of it.

Hanes Underwear Can Promise Wedgie Free Panties?

Be Wedgie-Free!!!



WOW, what a guarantee!!!

Does it include a small tube of super glue to add on the edge after you put them on?? Or does it have a rubber lining that suctions around your legs after you put them on?? Or are they smaller than the actual size and the snugness makes them WEDGIE-FREE??

Who has bought any?? Do you like?? Are they in fact WEDGIE-FREE??? DETAILS!!!!

Somethings in life are just a bitch.

My husband bought me two books when I found out I was pregnant with Baby M at Earth Fare. They have been in my kitchen the whole time.

He brought the book into the bedroom the other day to show me something.

Can you see it???

I think I am going to wet my pants from laughing so hard!

Seriously!?!?!

You can get a DUI while riding a bicycle!! I don't know what is more pathetic? That law OR that I actually know someone that this happened too!?!?!

Okay, guess I'll go pee now.



Sent from my Blackberry.

My Grammar Sucks, but do you still love me?

I know I know. My grammar isn't the best in the world. I cannot help it. My husband blames it on my PUBLIC high school education. Not all of us could go to a POSH expensive snotty private school like him. ~gentle smile here~

I also think being a country girl has a lot to do with it. I will say ya'll, ain't and you'ins all the time. My grandmother is a very country woman and I suppose I picked it up from her. When I get all tongue tied I get my words all mixed up. I make past things present and present things are in the past.

I am famous for adding "at" to things. For example: Where are you at? My husband will say, "behind a preposition". It never fails. He always says that. Not only to me I might add.

It's okay though...I still love him and he adores me.

Here is a joke he sent me last week about grammar:

Grammar Lesson

On my 65th birthday, I got a gift certificate from my wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a shaman living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, I drove to the reservation, handed my ticket to the shaman, and wondered what I was in for.

The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion. He handed it to me, and with a grip on my shoulder, warned, “This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say, ‘1-2-3′. When you do that, you will be longer and harder than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want.”

I was encouraged. As he walked away, I turned and asked, “How do I stop the medicine from working?”

“Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4′ when she’s had enough,” the shaman replied. “But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.”

I was eager to see if it worked. I went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited my wife to join me in the bedroom. When she came in, I took off my clothes and said, “1-2-3!” Immediately, I was the manliest of men.

My wife took one look at me. She was so excited she began throwing off her clothes. She jumped onto the bed and excitedly asked, “What was the ‘1-2-3′ for?”

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition.

Obituary Euphemisms:

Obituary euphemisms:

“Free spirit” - unemployable
“Vivacious” - drunk (female)
“A character” - drunk (male)
“Fun loving” - drank more than worked
“Down to earth” - born working class
“Utterly carefree” – senile

I'm Not Famous, Just Ask Julia Allison

I was reading the current Wired magazine that we get in the mail. There is an article about Julia Allison. Who is she you ask??? She is Internet famous. That's pretty much it. She is seen with famous people. She blogs. She tweets. She is a wild a crazy gal!!! Anything to get noticed!
She includes 3 steps to get Internet famous.
Step 1: GET NOTICED
Step 2: KEEP THEM HOOKED
Step 3: EXTEND YOUR BRAND

Well, this got me to thinking. I am a wild and crazy gal as well! I have led a life full of adventure. Yes it was before blogging existed and it was written down in a journal ( before computers were in every household). BUT IT STILL HAPPENED!

I sat down and made a LONG list! A list full of ADVENTURES!!! Mostly happening before I became SUPERMOM but they still count! And yet none of these things have made me famous. Until now. Let me share them! Sit back and be prepared to be shocked.

1- I won a biscuit baking contest in school. I guess this is when my fame started. I was in the paper. I made biscuits all the time. In fact, I refused to make biscuits for YEARS since I made so many during that time. I just recently started making homemade biscuits for my family.

2- I have traveled. I was an exchange student in France. I have been to The Louvre and have seen the Mona Lisa. A rather small picture. Compared to everything else I saw in The Louvre the Mona Lisa wasn't that impressive. Just my opinion though.

3- Once, while at the local mall, I saw Dr Tony Jones from General Hospital. Brad Maule is his real name. He was there for a fashion show. Kind of cheesy I know. But it did happen and I saw him in person. He was very handsome in person all those years ago. I'm talking like 17 years ago.

4- When they were filming The Last of the Mohicans in the area we had all these "Indian extras" running around with their mohawks and such. Several of them hit on me! In fact, I am sure you can see them in a few scenes. Since they all really looked alike, it would be hard to point them out though. Interesting huh? Sadly, I didn't see Daniel Day Lewis. That would have added a few points to my famous factor. I will mention as a side note that my BIL was an extra in the movie too. No, he wasn't one of the Indians with a mohawk. He was a redcoat.

5- I have dated a CEO/President of an aerospace company. Does this even count?? I know he isn't Bill Gates but I will include him as well.

6- When I managed a drug store, I spoke with Andie McDowell a few times. She still lives in the area. I really have no opinion of her as a person. We didn't go out for coffee or have late night pillow talk. I think I just gave her a basket once because her arms were full.

7- Again at the drug store, I met the beautiful Daliah Lavi. She's best known here for a couple of film roles in the sixties. But was apparently a big pop star in Europe in the 70s. I spoke to her about the movie my husband had me watch Casino Royale and how he thought she was a beautiful woman. I think she was naked in this movie with certain parts covered up. She is such a beauty even now.



8- One night when I was out clubbing, I met Edward Norton's dad. There was rumor that Edward was supposed to be there but his plane was delayed. No he wasn't just some older man trying to pick me up. There was a big group of people and they had lots of tables reserved.

9- I was on TV. A Doula special on the local news. I was the HUGE pregnant woman. DOULAS ROCK!!!!! Get a DONA Doula for your next birth.

10- My husband's father was very well known to everyone in our area. He started a radio station in the 40s. I am sure I would have loved him dearly. Sadly, he died long before I met my HB. I hear he was like a local hero around here. I know that many respected and loved him. Since he was in radio he brought many talents to the area. My HB met the "Man in Black". My MIL met Elvis. The list is lengthy.

11- I read Karyn Bosnak's second book and blogged about it years ago. She wrote about me on her blog and became my friend on MySpace. I was even IM'd by her once. She is a lovely woman and I am sure if we met in person we would get along and be BFF's. She has me listed on her blog and I have her on mine. Check her out and say "hello". ~I will talk about MySpace in a few.~

12- I have seen The Flaming Lips, Tracy Chapman, Gomez, Neko Case, The Reverend Horton Heat, Unknown Hinson and The White Stripes perform. I saw huge stuffed animals dance around on stage. I stole a Neko Case poster from a bathroom for my HB. I even think the Gomez drummer was checking me out before they performed. He was at the bar getting a drink. I had my picture taken with Unknown Hinson after the show. I was asking him if I could touch his sideburns. lol



13- I entered a contest on Nerve. They have monthly photo contests. I came in third. I got a naughty sex book in the mail as my prize. And NO I will not post the picture that was submitted.

Did this make me famous? No, it didn't. But it was fun.

PS. I was fully dressed in the picture. Maybe that was why I was third. I don't want anyone to think I sent in a naughty picture because I didn't. It just encouraged people to use their imagination.

14- I have a MySpace account. I would link you to it but it is set as private. It's mostly online friends and friends from high school. I do, however, have Madonna, Lizzie West, Dido, The Talking Heads, The Flaming Lips, Michelle Branch, Damien Rice, Cake, Sarah Mclachlan, and The White Stripes as friends. Does this make me famous? No, it doesn't. They haven't even left a comment for me. That's okay. I haven't left one for them either. lol

15- I have a Twitter account. Hello TWEETS!! My user name is TheSupermom. Look me up and add me as your friend. It's fun! Tweet away!

16- Last, but not least, I have this really cool site: The Adventures of Supermom. It's a blog about nothing. Like Seinfeld. Check me out. Send me out to everyone you know. Comment every chance you get. Add me to your faves! I'd love that. I'll give you a hug. Maybe even send you that naughty sex book that Nerve sent me.

I may not be Julia Allison but I don't have to be. I am who I am and I'm a great gal to know.

BTW, I have Dooce and Fussy in my bookmarks. I read them when I get a chance and will even comment on their pages. This hasn't made me famous either.

I Like Ruffle Butts Instead of Big Butts.

*talking*
Oh my goodness
Honey, look at her ruffle butt
Its so pink and frilly
She looks like one of those diaper commercial babies
That are always on television
They only use her because she looks like a total doll baby
I mean her ruffle butt
It's just so pink and frilly
I can't believe it's so adorable
It's just out there
I mean, it's just so cute
Look, she's just a baby

*rap*
I like ruffle butts and I cannot lie
You other mommies can't deny
That when a baby strolls in with a ruffle butt
All pink and frilly
You get excited
Wanna ask to hold her
Cuz you notice that butt is ruffled
All pink and frilly
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna hold ya
And take your picture
With your pink and frilly ruffle butt
But that butt you got
All pink and frilly
Ooh, ruffle butt
You smile and look my way
Well use me use me I’ll hold your frilly ruffle butt

I've seen them lookin’
To hell with onesies
She's got pink frilly ruffle butt

I'm tired of plain ole onesies
Saying they are the thing
Take the average mommy and ask her that
She’s got to have frilly ruffle butt

So Babies (yeah) Babies(yeah)
Have you got pink frilly ruffle butt (hell yeah)
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that ruffle butt
Baby got frills



Baby M has been loving this wrap since she was 7 days old!!!!!! It's called a hug a bub wrap from Australia. It ROCKS!


~June 11, 2008~

Baby M is 8 weeks old. As of yesterday! Isn't she beautiful!!!


~June 10, 2008~

Oh, he's James Bond.

Out of the mouth of Mary Jane:

Your husband is more like James Bond than my husband.

I've come to a conclusion..

One of my daughters has to find a nice British man to marry so I can hear him talk all the time

OR

My next husband has to be British...

~joking honey~