Two years ago today everything changed for me.

Michelle Lee

Two years ago I was excited to be on live TV as a Lifestyle Expert in Greenville, South Carolina that I loaded up the van with two of my kids, my Mamaw and great aunt for the trip. The live TV segment was a bust because I didn't have the product to talk about and I was upset but I looked good so I guess it wasn't a total disaster.

Driving back I started getting a funny cramp in my right leg. I remember taking my shoe off and rubbing my leg but it wouldn't go away. Then when I woke up the next morning I was in excruciating pain and didn't know why. Thankfully my doc has Saturday hours so I went it for a visit. The consensus was I had hurt my back. But how? I was only driving.

Those horrible days turned into awful weeks and then agonizing months. Doctor after doctor, test after test, deep in medical debt. Chiropractics, yoga, rolfing, physical therapy, resting and trying to move. It was frustrating for me because I could not see anything wrong but it was there.

There is a bulge at L1 and L2 but it's located in what they call the “spinal cone” so surgery is not an option because more nerves would have to be moved and they wouldn't know the outcome.

So I sit here most days afraid to move but move because things have to be done. I am still mom, wife, dog owner, friend and I'm still me. I want to live life and do things.

When this all started two years ago I crocheted all the grandparents am afghan for Christmas because I had the time and the yarn. Ha ha. I read a lot even though I'm STILL on book five of the Outlander series. This book is so slow that it stopped me dead in my tracks. I hear it's the slowest one and the hardest to get through and so far that is correct for me. I don't blog as much because my laptop died in November and it's still dead. May it RIP.

I guess I want people to know that just because they don't see a cast or bandage that it doesn't mean I hurt every single day. I have to take my meds when I wake up to even get out of bed. I often find myself checking the time when I get up to pee so I can take my meds before it's time to get up. So if it's after 5am when I wake up I go ahead and take them so I can be up at 7am. I have to sit down more than I used to and steps are torture for me. Just torture because I am weak in my right leg and actually having to pick that leg up is difficult.

It's been a difficult journey for me.

Right now I am currently dieting the Adkins way to lose these 20 extra pounds I have gained while dealing with this. I took two years to gain so I have to be realistic knowing I won't lose it in a week.

Currently I have lost 7 pounds in three weeks.

I miss bread, pasta and sugar!!!!!!!

Boy do I miss my chocolate.

I can do this, I just have to be strong.

I'm sure there's a lesson in all of this somewhere.