I'm losing faith.

I’m wearing my emotions on my sleeve.

Lately I’m on the verge of tears about everything.  It can be a commercial, TV show and even while reading the kids their letters from Santa over the weekend.  Everything is making me cry.  Everything is weighing on my heart.  I’m a very emotion woman and I’m so passionate about things. 

Out of confidence I cannot go into many details but this week I helped someone very special to me go to Helpmate to seek help for herself and her children.  Here it is Christmas and this person is homeless, in a sense, because of her useless husband!  The one that emotionally abuses her and calls her names in front of her children and the man that has physically hurt her.  This is the husband that she vowed in front of God to love forever.  This is the man that she loved and started a family with because of love.  The man that thought it was okay to abuse his wife.  He’s a piece of shit to me now.  *sorry for the anger*

I was sitting in this little office knowing her story as my heart literally broke as I sat there hearing.  Feeling.  I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and just cry but I didn’t let myself.  I had to keep it together for her.  I wanted to take the weight off of her shoulders and protect her from the world.  I wanted to do that for her and I’m hurt that I’m not able to make it all better!  I’m not able to say things that can help.  I have a home.  I have a husband.  I have a place to sleep at night.  I am safe.

I cannot make her safe. That breaks my heart. It makes me angry.  I want to hurt him.  I want to see the pain in his eyes just like I’ve seen in her eyes and the eyes of their children. 

I just want women to know that they are not alone and to get help if they are in an abusive situation.  Please, I beg you.  Get yourself and your children out of the home.  You don’t deserve the abuse and YOU do DESERVE better.  Dammit, you need to WANT BETTER.  There are so many options for you.  Please get help if you are abused. Don’t worry about the material things because over time those things can be replaced.  Please, show your children that they don’t have to live in an abusive home. 

For over 30 years, Helpmate has served as Buncombe County's primary provider of crisis-level services designed specifically for - and offered exclusively to - victims of domestic violence and their children.  We believe that to serve our clients, we must model a violence-free community that is founded in respect and equality.  By providing safety, shelter, counseling, and advocacy, we empower each client to create a life that is free of violence.   By providing education, we empower our community to create a world that is free of violence.  We provide safe, confidential shelter to women and children who are leaving dangerous and potentially lethal living situations.  http://www.helpmateonline.org/   Crisis line  828.254.0516 

Please check your area for help !!! 

People in an abusive situation just want to be loved and they think it will be better and that he will stop one day.  Please before your kids don’t have a mother, due to death, get out of the house.  You are loved!  You are loved by your children.  You are loved by your family.  You are loved by your friends.  You are loved by so many people.  More than you will ever know.  You are loved by me.  I love you.

((Big hugs))**  to all that have had to seek help because of abuse.  Just know I pray that you are in a safe environment and that you have a wonderful fulfilling life ahead of you where you don’t have to be afraid.


Charlene said…
You did help her, you helped her take the step out of her abusive relationship and into a safe place. That is huge.
diannaray said…
I'm glad you were there for her and hope she finds a path to happiness that doesn't involve abuse~
RedMelD said…
National Domestic Abuse Hotline:
1-800-799-SAFE If you are being abused memorize this number so that your abuser can not find it. If you visit the website, remember that your internet history may be monitored with software that is not visible. http://www.thehotline.org/

That said, Michelle.... as a survivor of severe domestic violence, THANK YOU for being there for her. It's intensely scary leaving an abusive situation, as we know first hand that our lives are at stake if we are caught trying to leave. You provided her with the support she needed to get away and get out. You helped her seek support (and I stayed at that shelter for a while and they will provide her with an immeasurable amount of support and assistance). You did help her, and she'll remember that through her darkest times.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, seek help. If you are reading this, you have a way to contact help. Give them your address so that someone can come help you. Regardless of who shows up (law enforcement, CPS, etc) tell them the truth! They can take you to a safe place. A place hidden from the public (or if not that have security measures in place). They can walk you through the steps to keep you and your children together and safe. You will NOT lose your children if you seek help.

If you have a friend that is being abused, speak to your friend. Let them know that you know, and you are there to help with whatever it takes. Do NOT confront the abuser as this can make it much worse for the victim. Be supportive and understand that the victim's fears are REAL and logical. They know, more then you can imagine, what their abuser is capable of. Don't take it lightly....if they fear for their life if they leave, then you contact the hotline above and find out how you can help your friend.

There are many misconceptions about victims of domestic violence. We do not like to be abused. We do not want to live the life we are in. Educate yourself whether you know a victim or not.....because chances are you already do and just don't realize it.

Michelle.....((((hugs)))) You know where I am if you want to chat.