Yesterday wasn't a good day at all!!!

I've cut back on my medicine and yesterday was a bad bad day for me.  You never know how much your body may depend on a medicine until your body is no longer getting that certain medicine.  Take for example the Xanax I was using for anxiety.  Not having as much in my system makes for a really bad day/afternoon.  Thanks to the support of my loving husband, wonderful family and amazing friends I made it through the withdrawals of the lower dosage until I completely stop taking it. 

Everything was amplified with my senses.  Noises were louder, much louder.  The splashing in the tub made me shake, the bouncing ball in the hall made me cringe, the OUTSIDE voices that were used inside made me realize why animals ate their young.  I just had to disappear in my room, curl up in the fetal position under my electric blanket and try to block it out and cry. 

It worked.  I was even able to sleep last night.  This morning I woke up, said a prayer of thanks, and got out of bed for day two.  Today has been good and I’ve even left the house.  I wasn’t crippled, like yesterday, needing help getting the kids to school and picking them up.  I won’t even let the kids eat cold leftovers or fend for themselves today.  I’m actually cooking dinner.

I even answered emails, texts and worked on reviews and giveaways.  I may even crochet this afternoon.

I know that with Love anything is possible.  I also know that love is God and with God anything is possible.  I was able to read one page today in Eat, Pray, Love and it suited how I was feeling today and if I wasn’t so comfy on the couch and in this blanket I’d get up and share it with you (I’ll type it up later for you).  I hope to finish this book before the end of the year.  The way it’s looking I just might be able to do it.  I also look forward into diving into the Christian Science, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures book that Superdad gave me.  I know he doesn’t talk about his religion much (to others) but lately I’m finding comfort in it and I’ve decided to learn more about it. 

Okay, this not-so-medicated-mom with anxiety issues has so much to smile about that I look forward to not having to worry about medications and just love everything in my life because my life is pretty amazing and I hope to overcome the depression and anxiety that I’ve battled the past 13 + years.

Comments

jakell said…
anxiety is hard, and real. only those who have been through it can truly understand. *HUGS* You can do it!
Supermom said…
Thank you so much for the *hugs*, I needed that.
Mary Jane said…
I am so proud of you! Although I didn't battle depression for 13 years, I did have a horrible bout of it after I had my baby. I totally relied on God. I was determined that if God is the same God today that he was in the Bible, then I would be healed with out medication.
I promise you that if you put your faith in God and his son Jesus, nothing is impossible, you can overcome anything!
Supermom said…
Thank you MJ! Know that I respect you so much and hold you in a wonderful place in my heart. (((hugs)))***