If Supermom were a stand-up comedian she would sound sort of like this.

Hi, my name is Michelle and I have four children which is totally impossible since I just turned 25.  I still haven’t figured this one out.  Poof, where did all these kids come from??  Am I on some sort of mailing list for kids??  If so, TAKE ME OFF.  Is there a do not disturb list I can get on for this?

Seriously, my kids are great kids.  Yes, I know that all parents say that about their kids but this time I’m serious.  They are amazing kids.  After all they do have my genes so I wouldn’t expect any less. 

I have a 17 year old daughter which again is damn near impossible since I am only 25 but non-the-less she takes up a room in my house where loud music often comes from and we never get to use the house phone.  My 17 year old daughter has the most beautiful green eyes, long brownish colored hair and a body that she most definitely didn’t get from me.   She looks like her dad.

Then my son is 13, again impossible with me being only 25.  Perhaps it is one of those monthly clubs where you get a random kid in the mail to raise and nurture.  I just don’t know.  My son is pretty amazing too and strikingly handsome.  He’s into boy scouts and loves to play on his IPod like most boys his age.  He looks like his dad.

My six year old is the shy one in the family.  Very tenderhearted and sensitive.  This is hard for me at times since I am a loudmouthed Supermom.  I have to remember to me gentle with that child.  My six year old is beautiful too with long brown hair and brown eyes.  She also looks like her dad.

This leads me to my 3 year old wild child!  This is the one child that worries me because I know she is going to be a wild one later on in life.  She full of life and just plain sassy.  I think she favors the mailman, you know I could be wrong but I’m just saying.

One might think that since I have four kids that I would be in a mental institution.  Well, they allow me weekend passes so here I am.  At midnight tonight they will come get me and put my personalized white jacket on.  No carriages turning into pumpkins or ball gowns into a dress of rags just “RUN, THERE SHE IS BOYS!” 

At this point why not have a fifth child?  Because my uterus said, “Hell no, we won’t grow!” and begged to be taken out!  So yeah, I had a hysterectomy at an early age and I was pretty bummed about it because in fact I did want a fifth child.  *If I could talk my husband or the mailman into it that is.*  After losing my womb of life I somehow talked my husband into a puppy.  Not just any puppy, she’s Sophie the Superdog who happens to be a yorkiepoo.  One of those tiny designer dogs that you can take everywhere with you!  Well, except certain hotel chains and my dad’s house.  My dad is this big ole redneck boy who hunts and has stuffed things all over the house.  I do believe he’d seriously use Sophie the Superdog for bait if he had the chance!  That’s why we don’t take Sophie over there. 

Since having my fourth child I’ve become more of a casual drinker.  I once had a friend tell me, “Hell, if you didn’t drink with four kids we’d worry about you.”  I love that friend.  She has such wisdom when telling the truth. 

So, this rounds on me.

Thank you thank you.

Comments

KimmyD said…
I have two little ones and my husband says that's enough. I'm trying to figure out how to convince him to go for the third but that's it for me then.
Supermom said…
Good Luck with that.

Michelle :)