I just want to live.

I want to live my life to the fullest, it's all I want.  I want to live.  Tonight I was talking to Superdad about some feelings of mine and I just told him, "I want to live".  Everyone that reads this blog knows that I'm reading Eat, Pray, Love and working on meditation and prayer so just living is on my mind at the moment.  Living in the now, this very moment and not worrying about tomorrow, or the next day or the next day.  Just now. 

I have been thinking about vintage typewriters the past few weeks and how special they are to me.  When I was a little girl I used to play with my papaw’s typewriter for hours pretending I was a secretary.  In fact, I could probably type before I could walk now that I think about it.  I had this spur of the moment idea to get another tattoo, yes I already have one, of a typewriter with the word “live” typed out on the paper in the typewriter.

Yesterday I received some devastating news about someone I know committing suicide that very day.  It literally broke my heart and made me hurt all over.  It saddened me to think about someone being so sad and feeling so alone that they thought ending their life was the best thing to do. 

So today I want to live.  I want to enjoy every moment that I am capable of.  We are not promised tomorrow, or even tonight, so just live.

I will continue to think about it since it is a permanent decision and I will be stuck with it forever.  I just don’t want to mark up my body for the heck of it.  I just think this tattoo has a special meaning to me.  To just live.  I may not use a typewriter now thanks to the invention of laptops and all but it will also remind me of the most important man that was in my life, my Papaw.