The Domestic Ninjaneer talks about "real" worth.


Using the tools from Mom Salary Wizard, I decided to figure out my "real" worth to our family. I've been getting some pretty brutal smack from the Family... 


The typical Stay at Home Mom in Meridian, ID (83642) would earn the pay shown below for her work as a mother. And to be fair... I only claimed ONE child under the age of 5 and TWO children over the age of 5. It would make for a much better show had I added the TWO boys that I'll have in a couple of weeks.




Now granted, these "things" don't always work for me since I do more of certain things than the "average" SAHM and much less of certain things than the "average" SAHM. Luckily for me... the Mom Salary Wizard allows me to customize!!!



HOUSEKEEPER: A person who does or directs the domestic work and planning necessary for a home.

COOK: A person who prepares food. 

DAY CARE CENTER TEACHER: "Helping children grow, learn, and gain new skills can be very rewarding. Preschool teachers and child care workers often improve their own communication, learning, and other personal skills by working with children. The work is sometimes routine; however, new activities and challenges mark each day. Child care can be physically taxing, as workers constantly stand, walk, bend, stoop, and lift to attend to each child's needs, interests, and problems. Child care workers must be constantly alert, anticipate and prevent trouble, deal effectively with disruptive children, and provide fair, but firm, discipline." See more here.

FACILITIES MANAGERFacility management is an interdisciplinary field primarily devoted to the maintenance and care of buildings. According to the International Facility Management Association (IFMA), it is "a profession that encompasses multiple disciplines to ensure functionality of the built environment by integrating people, place, processes and technology.

COMPUTER OPERATOR: Come on... you know this! Can you say FACEBOOK, FARMVILLE? LOL! RIFT?

VAN DRIVER: A person who drives other people places for reasons other than to self serve. 

PSYCHOLOGISTA person that helps to ensure the health and well-being of all people: individuals, families, groups, and society as a whole. This is NOT someone who only concerns themselves with the health and well-being of themselves i.e. my hubby, my mother in-law and the other reject in-laws.

JANITOR: This person is the one who sweeps up crunched cereal from the kitchen floor, shit (yes, actual feces) from the floor/couch/bed/panties. A janitor cleans and takes care of the house... baseboards, carpets, walls, light switch plates etc... taking care of stuff that gets overlooked by morons who don't clean and take care of baseboards, carpets, walls, light switch plates etc.

LAUNDRY MACHINE OPERATOR: A person who washes things in a washing machine and dries things in a dryer. This person only gets to claim title if they put shit away (remakes the bed after washing pee sheets) as well.

CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER: The highest ranking executive in a company whose main responsibilities include developing and implementing high-level strategies, making major corporate decisions, managing the overall operations, and acting as the main point of communication between everyone. 

STAFF NURSE - RN: The job duties with this include... medication dispenser, x-ray machine, x-ray developer, boo-boo kisser, noggin-checker-outer, wound bandager, splint developer, health researcher, temperature taker, shit digger-outer, joint popper back inner (damn those fingers and toes!) sunburn lotioner...

And preventive care like making someone wear sneakers instead of flip flops so as not to damage their feet like they do when their bio mom takes them to Roaring Rapids without water-shoes to run around getting nasty ass scratchy feet shit between their toes and scrapes and scratches that the staff nurse has to slather antibiotic ointment all over to prevent infection and scarring.

EVENT PLANNEREvent planning is the process of planning a get-together,party, or holiday gathering, weekends with friends and family etc.. Event planning includes budgeting, establishing dates and alternate dates, selecting and reserving the event site, acquiring permits, and coordinating transportation and parking. Event planning also includes the following, depending on the event: developing a theme or motif for the event, coordinating location support, arranging decor, tables, chairs, tents, event support and food preparation and serving, parking, signage, emergency plans, and cleanup.

NUTRITIONIST: This person makes sure that growing children have a variety of things to eat and drink on a daily basis, as opposed to hot dogs 4 days a week.

LOGISTICS ANALYST
Analyze and coordinate the logistical functions of the family. Responsible for the entire life cycle of the family, including acquisition, distribution, internal allocation, delivery, and final disposal of resources. 

INTERIOR DESIGNER: Oh hell, nobody pulls hours for this job around here, only because the interior of our home isn't designed! Blah, blah, blah.

BOOKKEEPER: The bill person... they manage the money, ALL the money ~eyeroll~

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT:

PLUMBER: The potty emptier. The garbage disposal fisher. The "omg that doesn't go in the toilet" picker outer. I'm adding litter box keeper-upper to this too.

GENERAL MAINTENANCE WORKER: Performs a variety of work in the maintenance and repair of buildings and grounds at various facilities/sites including carpentry, electrical, plumbing, glazier, masonry, and painting  tasks;  repairs and treats structures such as floors, showers, sinks, walls, roofs, and  carpets; performs minor troubleshooting,  repairs,  and adjustments of locks on doors, cabinets, desks, closets; repairs door hinges; cleans plugged key slots; changes filters on heating, ventilating and  air conditioning units;  services  appliances,  kitchen, and emergency equipment; hooks up appliances;  reports mechanical malfunctions to appropriate party for action; moves and assists in moving furniture and  equipment  at various  facilities/sites; exercises discretion in identifying projects requiring the services of a higher skilled crafts person; assists in obtaining quotes and arranging for services of outside vendors as needed; annotates  and updates work logs for specific site requirements; activates and deactivates building alarms and responds to alarm calls during and after regular work hours; maintains clean, safe, and orderly work site.

GROUNDSKEEPER: This person mows the grass, makes sure the grass isn't dying because the sprinkler's aren't turned on and takes the trash out EVERY trash day.



It all bowls down to look like this...

And "What about your hubby who pitches in when he's not working REAL hard at his REAL job?" you might ask... 





Mind you... I was VERY giving with the above! Below is a great explanation as to "ground-keeping" and what I will have to take care of before starting my garden.


And it comes to this!


I wanna add, if I changed all my "job" hourly rates to minimum wage... I'm still "bringing in" what hubs does at his REAL job that he works REAL hard at ;)


Furthermore... I shared all this with the man of the house only to hear how "crazy" I sounded, how it was "fake", "not real" and something was "fucked up with my calculations." He mouthed about me not doing laundry or mowing the lawn... and had the smart-ass laugh when I mentioned bookkeeping and asked what I thought I did in regards to bookkeeping (mind you, I have what I do in plain sight.)


I'll appreciate myself... since in the end it, it would be so empty without me!


Katie Mae

**The Domestic Ninjaneer graciously wrote this article for me since I'm in a funk, perhaps it was all the begging I did yesterday.  I'm so glad that she did because this post is amazing!  I can tell that she put a lot into it and I am grateful!  You can see more of her guests posts on Supermom Reviews so be sure to check her out.**

2 comments:

Kim @ Mommies Time Out Today said...

That made my morning! Love this! I'd be so Rich if I got paid like that! Congrats on the 2 boys that are arriving soon! You sure have your hands full! I think doing all that work while pregnant definatley boosts your income!
If you get a chance, stop by. I have a crazy post about plastic surgery and weddings for Pets!!

Katie Mae Ursenbach said...

Oh noooo LOL! I'm not pregnant! My 14 yr. old and 10 yr. old are from a previous marriage and we are doing the visitation stuff! I will have five kiddos at the same time though... 17, 14, 10, 8 and 3.