Kids do say the darnedest things.

At least we were at home for these two:

I was on the bed nursing the baby when Olivia comes in to ask me if I had her paci.

I told her I did not have it.

She SAID, "DAMMIT!!"!!

I calmly yelled for her daddy to come there. When he gets in the room she asks him if he has her paci. I start to hide my face with a pillow because I know what is coming next.

He told her he didn't have her paci.

She SAID, "DAMMIT!!"!!

He looks at me as I am hiding my face trying not to laugh out loud.

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Supermom ~ It’s raining outside.

Olivia ~ Dammit!  We’ll have to get the umbrella!

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I had a cold and was coughing. Olivia was trying to tell me something.

I had to tell her, "Wait a sec. I cannot hear you because I am coughing."

Olivia ~ "Hold your mouth shut and you'll stop."

~coughing~ "I cannot stop coughing."

Olivia ~ "Hold your mouth tighter, like this."

She seals her lips together tighter than the seal on my refrigerator!

It didn't work.

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Supermom~ "Where did my tomatoes go? They were here the other day. They were off my tomato plant?"

Olivia~ "I didn't squish them?"

Supermom ~ Insert weird look here.

Olivia~ "They aren't in my Dora purse."

As she runs to get it. "They aren't in here."

Supermom gets purse, opens it and finds 3 squished tomatoes.

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Supermom ~ Why is your doll stroller broken? It's all bent.

I get in the floor to work on it.

Olivia ~ I don't know.

Then here's the punch line!!!! Drum roll please.

Olivia ~ I didn't SIT in it.

~shaking head~

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Olivia was talking NON stop on the way to the grocery store while I was TRYING to jam out to a song on the radio.

She was totally messing with my mojo.

I turned around and went,

"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Olivia ~ "Why did you go

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?"

"Because you won't stop TALKING."

She then continued to talk all the way to the grocery store, while shopping at the grocery store and during the drive all the way back home!

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Kids are so cool.  I must have another.

Olivia ~ You are a nice mommy.

Supermom ~ Thank you. I try. You are a nice four year old.

Olivia ~ I try.

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The next Simon Cowell?

Superdad was singing in the dining room.

Olivia ~ Stop singing.

Superdad ~ Why don't you want me to sing?

Olivia ~ Because you're not a good singer.

If I had been on top of things I would have said,

"It's a little pitchy dog."

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We were having lunch the other day and this is what went down:

Supermom ~ Olivia needs a bath.

Olivia ~ I want you to give me a bath.

(She was looking at Superdad to tell him.)

Superdad ~ Who do you like to give you a bath?

Olivia ~ You. (Said again to Superdad.)

Superdad ~ Do you like how I wash your hair and don't get water in your eyes?

Olivia ~ Yes.

Supermom ~ Well, GOOD!!! One less thing I have to worry about!!!

Olivia: ~ I still love you mommy.

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Once I called Olivia by her big sisters name.

She said, "You got the wrong child." From now I will just call her Three.

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~actual conversation with Olivia~

Olivia ~ Where's my blankie?

Supermom ~ On your Tinkerbell bed.

Olivia ~ Oh.

She gets down to get the blankie then crawls back in bed with me.

Olivia ~I have a Mermaid bed not Tinkerbell.

Supermom ~ Oh, I get them confused.

Olivia ~laughing~ You are so silly Mommy.

I am only here to amuse my 3 year old some days. :)

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Things Olivia has said to me.

“That sounds like a plan".

"You are not my best friend anymore.”

"You are mean.”

"You are bossy mommy.”

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~Actual event~

Olivia ~Pinched Mommy.

Supermom ~ Pinched Olivia. I DIDN’T PINCH HER HARD!

Olivia ~ Cried, “Mommy pinched me.”

~ Then pinched Mommy again.

Supermom ~ Pinched Olivia. I DIDN’T PINCH HER HARD!

Olivia ~ Cried, “Mommy pinched me.”

~ Then pinched Mommy again.

Supermom ~ Pinched Olivia. I still DIDN’T PINCH HER HARD!

Olivia ~ Crying. “Okay, I not do that again.”

Then we kissed and made up.

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~The other night Olivia got in trouble. I think she kicked me. She said, “I’m sorry mommy”. A few minutes later she did something else to get in trouble. She said, “I’m sorry mommy again”.

LOL Being 2+ is so hard.

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I am sure Ben meant this as a compliment.

A few days after bringing the baby home

Ben tells me.

"You've lost some fat!!!" With a big look of amazement!!!!!!!!!

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We said, "If mommy ain't happy then no one's happy."

To which Olivia said, "If mommy ain't happy then I am happy."

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On a funny note, Ben would spend time with mamaw while I was working.

She was changing clothes one day and Ben started to ask questions about her only having one boob.  He was amazed at the fake one she used on the other side. Mamaw went on to explain to him that her boob got sick and the doctor had to remove it. He was pretty content with that answer.

Then he said, "Well, your other one is falling down!

2 comments:

Danielle Franklin said...

OMGLMFAO!!!! this is without a doubt the BEST thing i have EVER read!! XD i think i laughed so hard i nearly cried! i have a funny story about H when we were little. we were playin at my memaws, and something made a noise, and she said 'what the hell is that!?' memaw piped up and said 'what did you just say?' H says 'i said what is that.' memaw let it go but i turned to her and asked her where she learned that word. she replied school and her and her classmates had said it and the teacher got onto them. i'd told her thats why you dont say words like that! lol

Supermom said...

Yes, kids are hilarious!