Somethings just take time. When you get a flesh wound you can physically see the changes as it heals and you know that you will be okay. When you are dealing with feelings of the heart you never know how long it will take to heal. When you break up with someone at least you are allowed some sort of closure. You can be angry and sad then move onto other things.
With Crazy Beautiful H it's different since Evan was suddenly killed in a car wreck last year. To be so happy and "in love" and then to have in all taken away from you in a second. I cannot imagine the loss that H felt and still feels. I tend to forget that it happened since I'm so busy but H never does. It will cross my mind when I dust her bedroom and see his picture on her nightstand. I will frown and let out a sigh then go about my business.
For her it's a constant reminder of the loss that she had to face at such a young age.
Sunday we were having a discussion about a past boyfriend that I'm glad is an EX boyfriend. He was nothing but trouble and hurt H a lot. There's no excuse for that. Period. He's been trying to come back into the picture and I've done everything to stop it but run him out of town. Don't get me wrong, he's a normal teenage boy that has had a rough life. But it's not H's job to "save" him. It's a relationship like that.
H and I were having a heated discussion and I told her that she should have more respect for herself and want to be with a boy that worships the ground she walks on and would never ever hurt her or cheat on her.
H then says this, "I did and God took him away from me."
She cried. I cried.
I told H that God didn't take Evan away from her. I tried to tell her that God just had a different plan. I asked her to remember how it felt with Evan. How he treated her and how he respected the young lady that she was and told her that some day, when she's older, she will find that "feeling" again with someone that deserves her love and her time.
I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Sigh. I feel so sad for my beautiful daughter to have had to deal with this at such a young age. I do hope that in time she will have had her time to grieve and know she's allowed to be happy and find a good love one day. She deserves it.