My last period.

This will be a womanly topic so men may choose not to go any further.  Totally up to you though.

I started my period yesterday.  My very last period before my scheduled hysterectomy.  I should be dancing around the house rejoicing.  I'm rather sad about it though.  I'm sad about it because the hysterectomy means I will never be pregnant again.  I had really thought I had come to terms with this.  I guess not.

Superdad and I both think about my hysterectomy and not having anymore babies together.  Seriously I think if Superdad said, "Let's have one more baby." I'd drag him to the bedroom and cancel that surgery.  Well, reschedule it 10 months from now.  (Something like that.)

I know that he will never say that and deep down I know I don't want to be pregnant again.  This whole situation is full of mixed emotions.  Like I know after having my hysterectomy I will have doubts about what I've done and have to mourn for my loss.  I also know that in time I will be totally okay with my decision.

Also with this period comes the pain, the back ache, lots of blood loss, taking iron every day and just feeling like crap.

So, I know that after the hysterectomy I will feel like a new person.

Just give me time...

Comments

Michelle C :) said…
Maybe adoption from the US or abroad? You have so much love and so much to give a young life. I am a birth mother and I pray that my son was given the half of what you all could offer. Just a thought :)
rachel... said…
That must be so difficult. I would have the same mixed emotions, I think. Even though, I KNOW I'll never plan another pregnancy, I can never bring myself to take any permanent precautions, either. I can't imagine not having the option. I'm sure you'll come to terms with this, too, as it sounds as if this is not exactly an elective thing. And Michelle C is right, too. Just in case you ever change your mind.
Anonymous said…
I sort of know how you feel..after hubby had his vasectomy I was lost ...devastated even that I wold not have another baby as well...you will be fine as I was after awhile you are a strong woman.If you want another baby/child you can always adopt you are such an awesome Mom and have so much love to give and I know there is a baby/child out there just waiting for you.

Be strong in your decision and know that it is right for you.

Hug*s
Deb
Anonymous said…
If you really want another baby, you need to talk to hubby again before it's too late.
Anonymous said…
I think you should have one more baby. You are mother earth and you rock when you are pregnant, nursing, and caring for a newborn. Just one more!
Supermom said…
Thanks for all the wonderful comments.

I'm just praying and thinking a lot about all of this.

Michelle :)
RedMelD said…
I can relate. Growing up I always said I was going to have 12 children. I wanted to live in the country on tons of acres surrounded by my children. Yet, I have three and no longer have a uterus.

I do not miss the cramps, the back aches, the nausea, the weakness from blood loss, and most definitely not the pain.

Yet, even now, each time I hold a friends new baby or lay my hand upon a stomach to feel the movement within, I feel a wisp of sadness mingled with a touch of envy.

I still believe I'll have my 12 children. I may not carry them in my womb or give birth to them, yet they will be birthed out of a mother's love. I don't know from where God will bring them, or in what form they'll come. I only know that the desire and passion to have more children is deep within me and that God has plans for me as well as children in the world who are neglected and abandoned.

After your hysterectomy, when you feel the weight of never again and no going back, call me sis. I'm here.