Sometimes it will slip into my mind and then I wonder how I could ever forget in the first place.

Saturday we celebrated my great aunt turning 82!  It was awesome to spend that time with my family.  Eat my dad's awesome food and then enjoy the yummy cake that Lil O made and I helped decorate.  YUMMY!!!!

During dinner I remembered the loss a friend of ours was going through.  She used to work with Superdad and her friendship means a lot to him.  She and her husband lost their newborn son days after he was born last week.  It has broken our hearts.  Our thoughts and prayers go out to this family.  I cannot even imagine how they feel. 

Then I remembered the miscarriage I had many years ago.  A couple of years after H was born we planned for our second child.  We were both thrilled to find out we were pregnant again.  We were happy.  I even called everyone we knew to share the good news.  I remember it well now.  We had a cookout.  A tummy virus hit H and her dad.  Then I thought I was coming down with it.  Then the next day I started to bleed.  I knew what it meant. 

I was miscarrying our baby.  I was devastated.  I had to call everyone and tell them the sad news.  After my D & C my doctor was very encouraging.  Yet, I was heartbroken.  I had lost my baby .  It didn't matter to me that I was only 9 weeks pregnant.  I had dreamed of this baby.  This baby was already loved.  This baby was already in my heart.

It hurt that people would offer encouragement in the ways of, "You can have more children". 

I had to mourn the loss of that baby.  I still cannot believe I forget about that miscarriage.  Only once in a while I will remember.  Feel sad for my loss.  After having a regular period for 2 months my doctor told us it was time to try again.  It was like doctors orders type thing.  We so did.  Nine months later B was born.  My beautiful 9 pound 13 ounces baby boy. 

So, when I think of that couple I feel super sad.  She carried her baby.  Felt him move.  Held him after birth.  Then she had to bury him.  Baby clothes not worn.  Toys not played with. 

I think I will go hug and kiss all my kids now.


Monica said…
I remember when you lost your baby I was one of those people you called and didn't have the right words for you. I felt so bad for you.
Sara-Lynn said…
All I can say is I remember the pain too...
guurrrl said…
It has been 12 years for me. I do not know if I will ever be able to have children of my own. I don't think there really are words to express how it feels. I don't think the pain ever goes away or ever, "gets easier" but the way that I think or deal with it has changed. My thoughts go out to your friend and to you and your hubby. xoxo
Supermom said…
Thanks you guys.

I couldn't begin to imagine Gail. Big hugs to you! ! ! !