Monday, May 17, 2010

Supermom bares her soul, letting it all out for you to critique.

Yesterday I was in a bad place.  Call it a bad mood or reality biting me in the ass.  Whatever.

I am having to come to terms that I will not have anymore children.  It's a major event that we women have to go through not to be taken lightly.  It involves a bunch of emotions that you didn't even know you had.  It's like a loss.  Our belly will not be with child anymore.  We will not have that daydream anymore.  No more feeling life grow inside of us.  No more waiting for the birth of a baby.  It also means no more breastfeeding.  You all know how I feel about breastfeeding.  No more baby wearing.  You know how I feel about that as well.

There will be a lot of no mores for me not having another baby.

It makes me terribly sad.   To add salt to the wound, Baby M has stopped calling me Mommy.  It's MOM now.  How's that for ya?

Also, I'm really trying to get Superdad to let me get a pet.  He's just not having it.  It frustrates me to no end.  When I was growing up we always had critters running around.  My mom let us bring in and keep any stray that we got our hands on.  I really feel that the kids are missing out not having a pet at their age.  Superdad doesn't agree.

So, no more kids for me and I cannot get a pet. 

Then to beat it all my friend became physically sick after the cyberbullying that she was taken to Charlotte yesterday because her shunt is malfunctioning.  I was scared, worried and angry all at one time.  I even sent that TAMMY an email getting things off my chest about what she did.  I would copy and paste that email here but I deleted it.  You would have been proud of your Supermom for sure!!!  Don't mess with me !!!  I'm a live wire for sure. 

So, my friend is in Charlotte.  Her doctor doesn't agree with the ER doctors here in Asheville so they are testing her shunt today to make sure it's working properly.  She has hydrocephalus from a brain tumor she had as a child.  So, please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.  I want her back home ASAP!!!!

There is an upside to all my sad depressed behavior.  My Mary Jane will be here 15 days!!!!!!!!!  We get to pick up her at the airport on June 1! ! ! ! !  I know having her here will help improve my state of being. 

Okay, I'm going to suck up and deal.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hang in there Supermom! I'll say a prayer for your friend. Thanks for sharing your emotions, its nice to read blogs about real people who have real feelings.

MrsFuda said...

Girl, I totally relate to what you are saying about the weird, "loss" feeling when you realize you won't have any more babies. When I weaned my last boy I cried for days, knowing that was it. It's a hard adjustment, but you will make it through. (Same disagreement with husband about pets too, weird.)
I'm sorry about your friend, I hope she gets well soon.
~MrsFuda

Supermom said...

Thank you both!!!

She is home from Charlotte now. I'm so thankful she didn't require shunt surgery.

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