Wednesday, December 23, 2009

There are things that your heart never forgets even if your mind does.

There is a tugging at my heart today.  I knew what it was because I thought about it last week.  At least I am able to think about it now and not cry with sadness.

I lost my best friend Brian on December 21, 1996.  He was buried on December 23.

I thought I was going to fade away when I learned of his death.  I remember my mamaw was afraid to tell me because she knew of our bond.

We met in middle school.  He had written me a note asking if we could hold hands while walking to the buses.  We did hold hands that day.  We became the best of friends.  I came to love Brian with all my heart like a brother figure.  We always did things together.  Talked on the phone.  Went to the movies.  Played Nintendo.  We were just Michelle and Brian.  There for each other for the good times and the bad times.

One time he kissed me after we graduated high school.  I was so mad at him.  I didn't speak to him for days.  I just didn't look at Brian as a love interest.  He was just Brian my best friend.  He is still my best friend.  At times I will catch myself talking to him.  Hoping he is proud of me.

Even my first marriage didn't get in the way of our friendship.  He was always coming over to hang out.  I taught him how to play dominoes so he enjoyed that.  And SCRABBLE!!!!!  We'd have lunch and just be.  Keeping the phone line busy when we had gossip to share.  

So, even though the memory may fade our heart never forgets.  I love you Brian.

Best Friends Forever.

A song that I listened to a lot after Brian:

Tracy Chapman ~ The Promise


If you wait for me
then I'll come for you
Although I've traveled far
I always hold a place for you in my heart
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