I am a very public person. Hence this blog. Yet, I am a private person. How can I be both? I am not exactly sure myself. I have only spoken about my divorce one time. Maybe two. And not in a negative way either. I was bringing up how to deal with the holidays when you have children.
We have been dealing with a very delicate situation. I say WE as in my teenage daughter has been dealing with a tough decision. I wouldn't even call it a decision. More like trying to make her life less complicated.
H is 14. Okay, she will be 15 in June. WAHHHHH!!!! She is a freshman in high school. She is a wonderful young lady with the world at her feet. We have taught her between right and wrong. We have been there for her no matter what. I say WE as in me and her dad. Our families. Our friends. Everyone that knows H loves H.
We divorced back in 2001 I believe. We have joint custody of both our children. They would spend a week with me and then a week with their dad. Not a crazy situation. It appears to be the rage these days of divorced parents. ~sarcastic eyeroll here~ The "situation" has been fine with both children. Two houses. Two rooms. Two everything. Even twice the love with extended family. Both of us have remarried and added more children to the mix.
H took it upon herself to go to her guidance counselor last week to talk to her. To which I told her was great when she told me. I wasn't going to pry. She could tell me why she went or not. She told me. I cried. I cried for putting my beautiful daughter H in that "situation" to begin with.
H has decided that going back and forth is too much for her and she wants to stop. She wants to stay at one house and then visit the other parent.
I even went as far as telling H that she could live with her dad full time if that is what she wanted. I want was is best for H. She then told me that she wanted to live here with us and visit her dad.
I cried. We cried. I prayed. We prayed. I told myself that I wasn't going to worry about it. I handed it over to God. I was surprisingly calm. I didn't bring it up to H. I just let her think about everything. She had made her decision and she was sticking to it.
So, we had to tell her dad. Yesterday.
OMG, my heart was breaking. It's wasn't some glorious celebration where I won. It was the hardest thing I had to do. Well, one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. My heart broke for her dad. My heart broke for H. I was barely hanging on.
I let H do all the talking. I was like a silent partner. There for her no matter what but she was in control.
She told her dad. We cried. We cried some more. Then we cried again.
Her dad wants them to go to counseling. I think it is a wonderful idea. H needs her dad. She may not really acknowledge that yet. She will in time realize how much a girl needs her dad.
He didn't make H go home with him. She is here. I just made her some eggs for breakfast. There was no school today due to snow.
I am thrilled she is here yet I am sad for what it means for her dad.
Okay, I was telling you some thing very personal in hopes that you will give great advice. Been through this. Hugs. Whatever!