My Grammar Sucks, but do you still love me?

I know I know. My grammar isn't the best in the world. I cannot help it. My husband blames it on my PUBLIC high school education. Not all of us could go to a POSH expensive snotty private school like him. ~gentle smile here~

I also think being a country girl has a lot to do with it. I will say ya'll, ain't and you'ins all the time. My grandmother is a very country woman and I suppose I picked it up from her. When I get all tongue tied I get my words all mixed up. I make past things present and present things are in the past.

I am famous for adding "at" to things. For example: Where are you at? My husband will say, "behind a preposition". It never fails. He always says that. Not only to me I might add.

It's okay though...I still love him and he adores me.

Here is a joke he sent me last week about grammar:

Grammar Lesson

On my 65th birthday, I got a gift certificate from my wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a shaman living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, I drove to the reservation, handed my ticket to the shaman, and wondered what I was in for.

The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion. He handed it to me, and with a grip on my shoulder, warned, “This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say, ‘1-2-3′. When you do that, you will be longer and harder than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want.”

I was encouraged. As he walked away, I turned and asked, “How do I stop the medicine from working?”

“Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4′ when she’s had enough,” the shaman replied. “But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.”

I was eager to see if it worked. I went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited my wife to join me in the bedroom. When she came in, I took off my clothes and said, “1-2-3!” Immediately, I was the manliest of men.

My wife took one look at me. She was so excited she began throwing off her clothes. She jumped onto the bed and excitedly asked, “What was the ‘1-2-3′ for?”

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition.


Jennifer Saylor said…