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Yesterday and last night I prayed to God to let my papaw die.
Then I felt bad for wishing for such a terrible thing.
Then I took it back and prayed to God to take papaw when his time was right.
My Papaw died at 5:30 am this Friday morning.
Cancer is such an awful thing.
Like I can control that at the moment.
I haven’t been feeling well since Saturday. Cramping and such. When it got worse yesterday, I called my doc. They said for me to come in and they would take a listen to the heartbeat of our little one. I have gained 3 pounds and my iron is low AGAIN! I felt like I was being scolded. But I promise I am taking my iron. This always happens when I get pregnant. My iron is LOW! I guess when I go back in 2 weeks and they check it again, perhaps I can take a higher dose. WHOOPI! I don’t need to bother with ever going to the bathroom again! ~insert eyeroll here~ I told him I had some stress going on. Some of it I cannot control but it is still there. For example:
~my papaw has now lost consciousness because his body is shutting down and he will likely die today at Hospice. It’s only 8:20 am and I have already gotten 2 phone calls to tell me.
~having things to do and not be able to do them. Having the personal chef is going to be a big relief for me when she starts.
~just usual activities with kids.
~having to find a dress for a wedding! ~I found a dress last Friday~ Then having to drive to another state to be in the wedding.
~hubby having friends in town and I know he wants everyone to get together. I wish I felt better. It causes me anxiety and it really shouldn’t. But when you don’t feel well; there is no rhyme or reason to what makes you feel a certain way.
~hubby having to deal with family things.
That’s all I can think of at the moment.
Well, my quiet time is over. Lil O is up and about. Time to do a 10 minute tidy!
This is our little bundle of joy. I got it yesterday.
The note was on her desk. Granted I had to open it to read it but that is a small technicality. I will say in my defense. Sometimes you have to read the forbidden to know the real scoop about what is going on in school and your 13 year olds life. To them telling a select part of it; is enough. I think not!
Back to reading the note on the desk that was in plain sight! It mentioned a girl not being pregnant because she went to the doctor. HOLD UP! Was what my mind said! It made me angry at first. Then I was sad. To be so young and not have parents protecting you and teaching you that sex at 13 is a HUGE BIG NO NO! I was torn on to tell H I read the note and how it made me feel or stay out of it. BUT me being the mom who wants to be able to talk to her daughter and help guide her in making decisions that will be with her FOREVER, of course I said something to her. I waited until we were alone and then told her about the note.
I basically said that if she has to go to the doctor to find this out then she is someone you really shouldn’t be hanging around with. I said I know you don’t believe me BUT you are judged with whom you hang out with. If this girl is having sex at 13—do you want to be thought of like that as well. I told her I felt sadness for this young girl to think sex was okay and that her parents were not teaching her the right things. That pretty much summed the talk up. She then went on to tell me that she didn’t hang out with this girl; but she had heard the rumor.
We shall see. Growing up is so hard at this age. I just hate it for her. How hard it can be.
Anyway….there was no school yesterday. We went to Target and have a lovely lunch with mamaw. I came home and felt AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL! Yesterday was a feel bad day for Michelle but I sucked up and enjoyed it for the kids! It was awful though! 
Then of course we had take-out for dinner. I’ll be so glad when the personal chef starts on Friday! I’ll tell you how that goes!
I hope everyone has a lovely day. It’s rainy here. Wish I could send what little rain we have to California at the moment. Those fires are tragic!
The avocado plant I was boasting about way back in the summer. She has grown A LOT since the last picture I posted.
My HB says an intelligent person is never bored. A phrase his dad used all the time. AT this moment in time I disagree! I am an intelligent woman and totally bored. Yes, there are things I can be doing. Cleaning house, working on laundry and sewing on a quilt. But I don’t wanna! I plan on staying in my pj’s all day AGAIN. Like I have for the past 3 days.
Its dreary and rainy here. That’s enough to make anyone crawl back in bed.
Last night I watched the third episode of Pushing Daisies. I still like the show but wonder how long they can go on. He will eventually touch her again—-maybe. I don’t know.
Well, I am going to heat up something for lunch and continue to be bored.
Fall is in the air then Fall is out of the air. We had some cold weather and even turned the heat on Friday night. Then we had a 70′ish weekend. We spent a good part of the day outside on Sunday. It was really nice.
I have Fall decorations around the house and it is very nice. I love Fall and when it’s Fall I think of Thanksgiving. My FAVORITE HOLIDAY EVER! Time with family without the awful stress of buying presents. We missed Thanksgiving last year because we were in Disney. So this year I want to double up on my turkey eating and pecan pie slices. :)
Last week was fun filled as always. H got her school pictures back and she is a true beauty. Makes me want to hide her from all male beings. Seriously….
Today I hit Target (and Chuck E Cheese so O could play) to pick up household cleaners and Michelle things. Like lotion and got to have deodorant. I found my niece her birthday present as well. We have her 7th birthday party on Saturday. It is Hello Kitty theme :) I look forward to the birthday cake myself!
Then I had a nice Indian lunch with my husband and a friend of ours.
I am truly blessed.
I have been doing some thinking. I have a Personal Chef coming on Wednesday for a food interview. We have been living off take-out for the past 10-11 weeks and are pretty much tired of it. Plus it is costing us a small fortune to feed a family of 5. Some days its 2 times a day!! A friend of mine told me about a Personal Chef. They come to your house once a week and cook for the whole week. Throw it in the fridge or freezer. They even grocery shop! I am loving that. We are going to sit down and add up take-out and grocery bills from the past 10-11 weeks and when we get an estimate on Wednesday—perhaps hire her to cook for us. I am sure she will be cheaper than what we have been doing and have much better meals. She will cook organic for us and make kid friendly meals! I am excited about the whole thing.
I am feeling somewhat better with this pregnancy. Just extremely tired and occasionally get sick after eating. I am still popping pills left and right. My face is still badly broken out from the acid reflux. I just need a break!
Last night while in the zone I felt the baby move. This early you often miss it. But it was very clear last night I have something growing in me.
I have chatted enough about nothing. Have a lovely night. 
I was trying to explain how I have been feeling and came across this great article that I shared with my husband.
Its an interview I found on pregnancy.org. Thankfully my barfing never got to this extent but the interview is awesome and says it much better than I ever could. (I am taking Zofran as well and LOVE it!)
By Damomma
What is Hyperemesis Gravidarum? It’s Latin for “Barfing a Whole Lot While Pregnant.”
How does it feel to have Hyperemesis Gravidarum?Okay, imagine the worst flu you’ve ever had. Imagine it continues without relief for weeks or months. Now imagine some nice stranger suggesting that if you sniff ginger and eat saltines you’ll feel all better. That’s Hyperemesis Gravidarum.
Who gets it?Mostly women who did something bad in a former life whom God wants to punish. Hahaha just kidding. About two percent of pregnancies are affected by Hyperemesis, which has a fancy scientific definition that includes how many pounds you need to lose before anyone takes you seriously. My definition is more simple: If you’ve ever wrapped yourself around a toilet and begged for someone to hit you with a blunt object and put you out of your misery than either you’re really drunk or you have Hyperemesis. Your odds of Hyperemesis improve if you are female.
Have you tried sniffing ginger? Actually, the one thing I haven’t tried is smoking crack. Give me time. As to the ginger, it made me barf.
Have you tried peppermint? See ginger.
Does anything work?Well, like I said, I haven’t tried the crack yet. But, interestingly, many of the proffered remedies seem to have a similar effect on me. Phenergan, for example, elevates my state of being to the level that I giggle for a bit and pass out. Good news is that I don’t barf.
I am currently on Zofran, a relatively new remedy for morning sickness that does take the edge off. It’s kept me out of the hospital, which is great, and I only barf once or twice a day now, which is a huge morale boost, lemme tell you. The bad news is that that those tiny little Mother’s Helpers cost $20 a pop. That’s per pill. I take at least two a day. Our insurance company just denied our last claim. I’m not sure what I’m going to do about that. If I think about it too much, I barf, so let’s change topics, huh?
Does Zofran have any side effects?Giiiiirl I am so not talking about that here. But suffice to say I’ve done some calculations and I expect my next normal BM to occur sometime around October 7th. (Remember: YOU ASKED!)
This really is a lot of barfing. Have you kept any records of your barfs? Any anecdotes?I’m so glad you asked. Let’s see, the most humiliating barf was when I was about six months along with Mary and I puked in the Baptist Church parking lot of our tiny rural North Carolina town. Yes it was Sunday, and yes people were filing out of services. Matters were not improved by the Marine whacking my back and saying, “WOW that was a good one, good job honey, woo hoo!!”
My most heroic barf was at the end of my pregnancy with Mary when I was eating a delicious croissant in a local bakery, was seized with a familiar rumbling, and flew out the door to toss my cookies in the public trash can on the corner. After I was done I marched back in and finished the croissant.
So far this pregnancy the prize winner was tandem barfing with the dog. Honestly, that was a low moment.
Gee, how do you handle all this big fun? Quite simply, I’ve got great friends. El has several times performed door-to-door service, collecting Mare, riding off into the sunset for a few hours, and bringing her back fed and tired.
Karin routinely takes my child into her home and is thoughtful enough to clean her toilet when I come over, in case I need to ralph. We all need such people in our lives. Mare is always returned to me stuffed with treats and wearing little trinkets Emma didn’t notice her pilfering from the toy box.
I’ve also been blessed with great doctors, some of whom went on to become great friends. When all is said and done, it can be hard to love something that is sucking your will to live. Compassionate doctors toss us Hyperemesis girls a few extra sonograms to keep the morale up.
But most important is a great partner. Cute Husband doesn’t have time to sleep any more, between law school, shopping for odd cravings, and taking Mare fun places while I barf up all the stuff he worked so hard to buy.
Honestly, you’re scaring me. I’m not sure I want children now. I know. I haven’t even told you about labor yet. Don’t worry, it’ll all be fine. Just remember to sniff ginger. That’s key.
I guess I’ll make myself sit here and write a post. I have been busy and then not so busy it seems.
This is a picture of my grandfather Roy and my oldest H. This was taken in February 2007. I am sharing this with you because he is and will die from cancer. It will be sooner than later. He was moved to Hospice yesterday. It was a very hard decision for my grandmother but it was the best one. Today I spent some time with him and I had H and lil O with me. I kept him covered because his hands were cold. I let him cat nap between sentences. I just sat there. And let me tell you , time moved very slow. I cried but didn’t let him see. It was an emotional day with him.
I also went to the doctor today. I have lost weight. Duhh! I’d have to actually eat a good diet to gain weight. I hope soon to find that happy medium and be able to enjoy food and eat again. We were able to hear the heartbeat today. Lil O called it fireworks. Adorable! I also had some concerns about having this baby. I had a cesarean with my last child and was worried about a repeat and the risks it involved. I was curious about a VBAC and the risks in that. After a much informed honest talk I have decided that the repeat cesarean with be the safest. And the best choice for me.
Anyway…I am physically and emotionally exhausted. I am going to veg on the couch for as long as my family will let me.
Last night I watched the first show of Pushing Daisies. I do not want to get sucked into another TV show. However, I liked the first episode. I am not sure how long they can keep that storyline going though. I won’t write anymore–just in case someone wants to watch and hasn’t yet.
Pushing Daisies <~~you can read more about the show here.
Other than that I lead a pretty boring life these days. I really need to be writing down my dreams these days. They are a riot! Last night that Baywatch man, ummm what’s his name? David Hasselhoff! We were in Math class taking a multiplication test and he kept passing me a note with that goofy smile on his face and that wild hair of his. Now where did that come from???
Tonight there is a DAMA meeting I hope I am able to attend. I’ll know later on in the day.
Let me share a few pics I took the other night:
This is my view most days. This is from my side of the bed! During the day the sky just turns to blue. In the bottom left corner you can see why I am bed.
I live in a great town for sure! Lots of different people and places to visit. We are frequently downtown–and HB does work downtown as well. We visit the local places to eat and when we have company we take them there too. LOL I love to brag about the great places to eat and visit. Anyway….
Saturday we had family outing time and went to Early Girl for a great lunch. ~Plus all 3 kids love to go~ We know the owners and love to go there to eat a good meal. I highly suggest the Bean Burger. That’s what I mostly get unless I go for the veggie plate. Since Chocolate Cake with Coffee Icing wasn’t on the menu we headed to another place to eat some sweets. I can honestly say True Confections has the BEST peanut butter pie you will ever eat. I have been eating it there for 4 1/2 years. I LOVE THEIR PEANUT BUTTER PIE!! So does H. And its nice because you can venture in the Grove Arcade as well.
I can say I was stuffed after this adventure. That’s why the long nap when we got home I am sure.
Sunday I was mostly in bed unless feeding everyone. Sunday was a bad day for me. YUCKY! I am thankful that my second trimester starts in a couple days. I hope this brings me relief and I am able to enjoy this pregnancy….
Yesterday was sisters day out. It was nice and just what I needed.
Today I am basically vegging around the house. Lil O is behaving perfect. ~knocking on wood~
My sister brought over her portable DVD player for me. Which is nice because since I spend most of the day in bed..I can at least catch up on some movies. Or entertain O with a kid movie while I rest in bed. Ahhhhhh…..wish I had the DVD player WEEKS ago! LOL
I hope that everyone is well and enjoying their week. I hope to work on the Tinkerbell quilt this week. I need to invest some time into it ASAP! But when mommy doesn’t feel good—she doesn’t do anything. Which is odd because sometimes I think moms never get a sick day. Hmmm….
I love that Fall is in the air. Extra blanket time yet too warm to turn the heat on. Soon though. I so love this time of year.
